Hope

March 21, 2009 changed my life forever.

That day I ran the 5 mile for the first time ever. I hadn't really trained, but I really enjoyed it. Afterwards, I was able to visit with some family friends and overall it was a really great day! That evening I was babysitting while my parents were at a wedding reception and all of the sudden I got a call from my cousin, Josh, frantically wondering where my parents were and why they weren't answering their phones because my other cousin, Travis, had been in a motorcycle accident and was being life flighted to the hospital.

I began to panic.

My parents weren't answering my calls either, so I decided to call a friend who was also at the reception to have him look for them. No such luck. Eventually they came home and my dad and other cousin, Logan, began making plans to drive to Grand Junction. I remember, before they left, we said a prayer as a family. It brought comfort, which is what we needed. I then had to get a hold of Travis' really good friend, Derek (describes Travis as an older brother), who was wondering where Travis was.

I had to tell him.

The rest of that night was kind of a blur. It was filled with tears, fears, and spending time with my family. I spent the night with my grandma and I will never forget hearing my her cry when she got the call. And then listening to Derek cry when I called him. I don't remember much of what was said that night, I only remember that I knew that this nightmare was a reality.

I was not happy.

But in the following days I began to find happiness again as I recognized all of the blessings in my life, especially concerning these recent events.

• The night before, I had been able to get off work early and eat dinner with my family, including Josh and Travis. This was the most time with him I'd spent since he'd finished his mission.
• I had been able to be friends with him on Facebook which allowed us to stay caught up on each others lives and talk more.
  
• Somehow I had Derek's number and he had mine so that we could get a hold of each other.
• Most importantly: I know that families can be together forever and that if I live worthily, I can be with Travis, and the rest of my family, forever.
  

It was that testimony that gave me hope. Hope for happiness. Hope for faith. Hope that others can receive comfort. Hope for strength.

Eventually, with enough faith, that hope turned to knowledge

I know I am, and can be happy thanks to the gospel. I know that faith can move mountains, if it's the Lord's will. I know that the Holy Ghost is powerful and comforts those in need of comfort. I know, without a doubt, that things will be okay. Yes, I have my days where I miss Travis like crazy, but this life is so short compared to the eternities. I also know, without a doubt that

Everything happens for a reason.

Sometimes it takes days, months, years, or even waiting for the next life to understand all of God's purposes in our trials. But someday, if we pay attention to the Spirit,

We WILL know the answers to our questions.

Now I am such a stronger person than I was before Travis passed away. I have a stronger testimony and I'm not as scared to share it. I enjoy the scriptures more. I try to "Let [my] light so shine before men, that they may see [my] good works, and glorify [my] Father which is in heaven" (Matthew 5:16) I want my countenance to shine, like this:
Recently my good friend, Chris, has come down with a bad case of what they thought was pneumonia (but they've discovered that it is a rare autoimmune disease) and he is not doing well. He has been sedated and on a ventilator for almost a week now and the doctors sure aren't quite sure what is wrong with him.

It's so scary.

It's hard to find joy in situations like this, but there is. People from all over have been praying and fasting for him, especially the youth in our area. People are reaching out to his family to help them cope. Through all of this, all those who are serving Chris, by praying, fasting, or helping his family, are growing closer to Christ and becoming more like Him.

Isn't that what life is about?

All we can do, is hope and trust that what's supposed to happen will happen. Or as my dad says:

"What is is right."

If your in the mood to learn more about the power of hope, watch this: http://www.youtube.com/mormonmessages#p/a/f/0/UbsU3b2srQA

Also, if you want proof of the love and support that Chris is receiving (and to join the group on Facebook) go to: http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/group.php?gid=406913512931&ref=ts

Grateful for Laughter

Laughing is probably my most favorite thing in the entire world! Without it I'd probably cry all of the time out of embarrassment. Let's take a look at yesterday for example...
First of all, I spent the entire day reading! Shouldn't have been to harmful...but whenever I didn't read, something bad happened haha. For lunch I had left over spaghetti. When it was done warming up, I got it out of the microwave and started walking to the table. When I was almost there, I started looking at something and all of the sudden my hand lost balance and there was spaghetti everywhere!!! My mom was slightly (k maybe more than slightly) annoyed because it almost got on some important stuff on the table. But I couldn't stop LAUGHING! Then my dad joined in on the laughter, and soon enough we were all laughing our heads off! Awhile later I was going to my little sister's soccer game with my mom and we were going to a Relief Society thing afterwards. My mom was bringing a vase of flowers and I had to hold them in the car. Before we even left the drive way, I had water poured all down my shirt and it looked like I wet my pants! My tan pants! So embarrassing. Yet again, all we could do was laugh. Haha good times.
Anyways, like I said, if I didn't have the ability to laugh at situations like that, I would just be devastated all the time because I would feel so embarrassed. Don't get me wrong, I definitely feel embarrassed, but I don't dwell on the negative and make it funny!

Home.....

I love coming home! Even though I feel kinda sick again, and I don't get along perfectly with my family. There's just a feeling of peace that I have being here. And it's nice to get out of the snow for once in my life. I also enjoy my mom's cooking (and Mom don't feel bad about having sandwiches for dinner! They were good!) I'm grateful to be here, it's going to be a good visit.

(Aren't we sooo cute!)

O and I had a blonde moment at dinner today! haha. So we were talking about...who know's what...but I found out that one side of the street always has even numbered addresses and the other side as odd! I don't know exactly what the system is (like if North is always even and West is always odd) but I NOW know there is one!

You Can't Always Get What You Want

I love the television show called Glee and on their first season finale they sang a remake of the Rolling Stone's song called You Can't Always Get What You Want. In the chorus it says, "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime you might find you get what you need." SO TRUE!

I recently applied to be a Resident Assistant here on campus and I was really really hoping to get the job. Turns out I was picked as an alternate, meaning that if one of the hired RA's decides they don't want the job anymore, I may or may not get it. At first, I was super bummed. But tonight I went to a meeting about being an alternate and found out that there were only 11 new RA's and 11 alternates out of like 90 applicants! So even being an alternate is pretty good. I also found out that there is a high chance of eventually being an RA, but no guarantees. At this meeting, we were informed about lots of leadership opportunities that we as alternates can take too. Needless to say, I feel a lot better about everything, and even though I didn't get exactly what I wanted, this will be a chance for me to learn a lot and just have faith that everything will work out how it's supposed to! (It always does)

Why the Change?

In case you haven't noticed, my blog has made a change!!! I've realized that my life hasn't been so awkward lately. But it has had some very exciting things happen that have helped me figure out why life is really about being happy! I love being happy. And smiling. And laughing. And anyone who knows me knows that that's just how I am. So instead of devoting my blog to awkwardness, I've decided to devote it to happiness.

{This is me when I was happy at graduation practice...}